im nt gonna say hi today. i dont even think i should be here at this time. i should be revising instead. its all becoz of a post, a post which made me cry for the first time in 2009. i can say that 2009 have been a rough year so far. having had to settle in sec1, conquering in being single. i almost forgot, today was my 3 month being single. think the number 2 just makes me sad. and for her to write the post. im positively sure shes not refering to me. she couldnt have replaced my name for wat i think i havent have done. i know that i have been delaying to ask the question even though you know i had the crush on you. i have thought through it, thought deeply. i shall stop calling you nicknames. i'll just call you by your, i repeat, YOUR name. i dont think i have the right to call you nicknames. i dont deserve to be loved. im just a boy, who sits in front of his laptop almost every single day, chatting with a girl, whom i like most. to think of it, i shouldnt be even having a crush on her. shes way older than me. i just cant forget you. its so hard. its nt so hard. its DAMN hard to do so. i tried my best, to let you go but after all i did, it all starts back to where i initially started. i even feel guilty crushing on you and to call you MY oreo. i did the wrong move. i seek forgiveness in calling you all that nonsense. im truly sorry. everyday, i look for you, hoping you would make my day. i feel sad after losing the match with northland, after seeing you, i felt elated, as if im the happiest guy in the world. your friends even seem to dislike the company of me. so i shall let go of you, unless YOU tell me its just a name replacement. if not, i shall let go of you, forever, i mean it, FOREVER. i'll succeed in doing so. now after reading your post, i feel that its not me. even though the first part matches wat you have said to me. now im just waiting for you to go online, to tell me wat you have to tell. i'll be waiting, until i fall asleep, fall into a deep slumber full of hatred. i have been ignored and even avoided. each time i see you, i forced a smile, thinking that i still LOVE you. i have been thinking, "need i do this?", each time i post. i dont even care about myself when with you, i think of getting you back home, safely, so that the answer will be there, in your heart. so i'll be waiting for you to online. my last question is, "did you wrote that refering to me, or to play with my heart? or maybe even its true that you're with him now..". thats all i have to say about today. i really lost my mood to chat. so i'll try my best to chat tonight. byes..