first things first :

look, my mood have yet to change. being like this is just being me. im used to this. but somehow, i need a change. lets see, 100days being unloved. i survived it. for the first 96 days, im happy being with my friends.. but on the 97th day, i paid the price for being happy, i lost my new friends. just when i thought i couldnt be anymore upset, 98th day came and i lost my only hope of regaining my trust to girls. so, on the 100th day, i dedicate this post for you, the only girl that i have really been crushing on, only to find out that i have she has broke my heart to pieces. parents has seen the change in me. teachers too. friends ignored me. brother asked. sister asked too. grandmum, she doesnt care. you, you ignored me, like i expected. i expected this.. when i asked you this, 'why you asked? you dont like me, right?', you said no. you said that you wanted to confirm. you call this confirm? plz, NO BULLSHIT. guess my 'friend' was right. people played with my feelings. but i guess this is enough. your turn ended. now its mine. ask him to pray, like how i did, coz his prayers, might be the only thing that kills you. it will be the death of you. im just speechless. where have your promises gone? you seid this to me, 'dont worry about my answer..'. looks like this is wat you meant, 'FUCK OFF!', its fun right? why did we ever end the game when it wasnt even my turn to play? to think you can regain my trust to girls, but instead, you made me lose all my trust to girls. i know i was in the wrong, i delayed the question. but even if i had asked you earlier, i know you would dump me for him. and you said you appreciated wat i have done, so is this the big 'thank you' i get? new friend should know how i feel. i realised being with you has been a waste of time. a huge waste. you left me without a warning. left me stranded for 3 days. you could have told me earlier that you HATED me and DISLIKE my presence right? im immature, im only a sec1 student. i dont make people look bad, you DO. my image in school is bad, i dont do homeworks, i eat in class, i got into trouble every period. and for you to know, i wont move on in life. i will keep this in mind. and i told you before, i should not have had that crush on you. i lied to my MUM for you. dont you know lying is a sin? be it lying to my mum. lying to my mum could mean i end up in hell. 100years of torture. looks like you dont know. all you care about are those which you like, which you have, but never which you dont have. calling me a friend..is a huge mistake. i got a lot more to say, but you would only tell you boy about me, right? like an immature girl. look who will bad-mouth more when you break up with him. and you waited for 1hr45mins? i waited for you, for a total of 8 periods. and all this waiting, turns up to be meeting a girl who pllays with my feelings all day long. i could post all the chats we had. want me to do that? justice is with me now..

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oh god..why did you allow me to have a crush on somehow so heartless as to play with my feelings? oh god..help me in this FUCKED UP situation